Poema

i often wonder why symmetry is so crucial. there's something else, too - it is easy to get lost in such a big, big place.

for: J(u), A, B, O, & M m:12345 f:0N 1540230.5421324.3323022.N520433.5152405. 0442314.4400412.10

 

be careful, my anger is coming.

 

i have heard stories about you. you are not someone i like. i don't even know you.

it's people like you.

i just can't stand people like you.

 

who are you.

it frustrates me that i don't know who you are yet.

it would be a relief to have some insight now and again

some foresight

 

my glasses

are crouching, unused

on my dresser.

 

oh, wow. you think i'm serious.

let me teach you a lesson.

 

do you think you can measure this, really?

see, i doubt you can call performance an accurate measuring stick, really!

haven't i taught you anything

 

why are they statements and not questions/

don't i wonder anything about the world.

 

it's so crooked out here, past the good times

past the peace and the cleanliness

past the peace

violence.

 

i am sitting at your dinner table eating breakfast

you pick up a book and start to read,

for whatever reason i think you were reading out loud

but i'm not sure at this point

you were my first love.

 

this documentation is a mess, the papers

are scattered and mixed

they are tossed and dampened

they are dead.

 

haven't i taught

haven't i taught you anything.

 

don't presume to know what i'm thinking.

 

you teach me plenty.

 

the three of us were walking and i wanted to

run my hand down your spine

and see if i could count

your processes

 

but

i was scared he might be looking

 

you need to help me climb this tree

i'm not good at it (for whatever reason)

(why do you always say that, you know the reason)

(what, because i'm a fucking girl???)

 

i must stop this abuse.

it is probably illegal.

 

that night, i was worried about my hair

it was really wet, and it tends to curl when it gets

wet

 

STRUCTURE

the bellyflop of most writers

is my only ally

 

what does this even mean.

why am i searching for meaning.

why are you so mean to me.

 

keep your lips away from my body

i don't care, i don't want to love you anymore

i want to be numb

 

deceased

temporarily, until you resurface in my mind

i don't even know if it's appropriate to think of you this often

wherever you are, i hope you miss me too

 

this and that

the streetlamp only picks up tiny flickers of your muscular

twitchings, your face

is never calm

 

ten people tried

to win against me

they all did, and didn't

because i don't believe in truth

how dumb is that.

 

i am the strongest

weakling

to inhabit this hole

 

the heaviness of our society

is no match for

your arms

 

sweet. you smell so sweet.

what, you really don't believe me?

 

why aren't you warm and fuzzy.

budge up when i tell you to

ignore bossy people, though

they're not good for you

 

that good for nothing scallywag

ain't worth your time girl

 

i'm wearing the bra you gave me and nothing else

i hope that's all right

i know what you're thinking

but we can be best friends.

 

alms, alms

please, we all need attention

pay attention

take pity

ignore.

 

the strings inside us

are inside out

on the outside you are in

with the string man

 

the thought is terrifying.

i really can't sleep

 

i am not myself enough

that i think it's just me

 

the delicate, wavering

other side i don't admire

sticks sickeningly to

your outer attire

 

my feet are special

tell them how special they are

they need to hear it

 

his hands were swollen up, he couldn't even beg

 

you could be traveling south or north on the same road

it wouldn't make a difference if you could see the signs

the direction itself has a feel.

south or north

 

east and west

the west coast is mine

you can keep the east

maybe we'll have enough room

 

it's not smart to take things so fast

and you never do listen to me.

is it because i'm a woman

is it because i'm right

 

the spitting, ripping anger

is a soft red cloth they rub in my eyes

at nighttime it looks purple

 

do sing to me, i love your voice

your voice is my favorite

so far from perfect

 

sing to me. i miss your voice

your nose is my favorite

so close to perfect

can you smell better than the rest of us?

 

the pebbles that mar the land

with such frequency, like smooth

river stones

the nice ones

 

don't write incomplete thoughts

they're incoherent

they're rude

 

i was raised in a different world than any of you

my mother

i love.

you probably wouldn't understand, even if you

knew the whole story.

 

will you please not be sad

will you please be happy with me

we could be so happy

we were so happy

 

the past.

is not.

the truth.

 

it is so cold

never warm here

i try so hard

to like it here

i fear

i don't really like it here

your voice is far too near

to my ear

 

stop marking up the moments

with your red correction fluid

 

just enjoy it

stop being serious

it's annoying